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喜欢Barbara Park的作品，不仅因为她作为成年人，能够以孩童的视角洞察被大人忽略的情感，还因为作品中充满童趣。当然，英文表达比较简单，也是重要原因之一。下面这段摘自她的“Don't make me smile"一书，是讲述一个十一的岁男孩父母离婚以后，心里成长过程。试着将其翻译过来，权当练手，希望没把韩老师教的忘光，也欢迎各位同学指正。
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连载(四)
WHEN SOMETHING bad happens, people don’t all act the same way. Some people go nuts. Others just act like nothing has happened at all.
面对人生中的不幸，人们的表现都不尽相同。有些人会癫疯抓狂，有些人就啥事没有。
I always used to wonder which kind of person I was. Now I know.
我以前总纳闷自己会是哪种人。现在我可算知道了。
I’m the kind who goes nuts.
我就是抓狂那伙儿的。
I started going nuts the day after my father told me about the divorce.
老爸告诉我离婚这事的第二天，我就开始疯了。
My mother knocked on my door at the regular time to get me up for school.
那天，老妈照往常的时间敲门叫我起床上学。
“Are you awake, Charles?” she called.
她在门外喊：“查理，醒了吗？”
I didn’t answer. I must admit, I was getting pretty good at no answering. It’s really very easy. All you have to do is not open your mouth.
我没吱声。告诉你，我很擅长默不作声，拒不做答的。这很简单，你只要闭紧嘴巴死活不开口就行。
To me, the greatest thing about not answering is that no one can make you do it if you don’t want to. That makes it very special. Because when you think about it, there aren’t too many things your parents can’t make you do if they really try hard enough.
对我来说，拒不回答最棒的地方就在于，只要我不想开口，就没人能让我出声。这事其实可不简单。因为，你好好想想，在漫长的与父母作斗争的过程里，只要是爸妈想让你做的，是不是很少有他们不能得逞的？
Take mowing the lawn for instance.
就拿上次锄草坪为例吧。
One time I totally refused to mow the lawn. It was about a hundred and fifty degrees outside, and the grass was about a foot high. So when my mother told me to go out and cut it, I told her, “later.”
那次，外面气温足足有100度，草长得三十多公分高，老妈硬让我锄草。我坚决拒绝，告诉她说：“等会儿。”
“No, not later, Charles,” she said. “ Now.”
老妈说：“不，查理，不能等会。现在！”
“No! Not now!” I yelled
我大喊着：“不！现在不行！”
I don’t usually disobey my mother like that. It’s not that I’m afraid of her or anything. It’s just that she can make my life pretty miserable if I don’t do what she says.
我平常很少那样反驳她，还是挺给她面子的。不是因为我怕她或怎么着。只是如果我不照她说的做，都会死的很惨。
Anyway, it only took about two seconds before Mom came into my room, yanked me by the arm, and pulled me outside.
反正，老妈瞬间冲进我屋里，拉着我胳臂，把我揪到外面去。
After that, she started the lawn mower, put my hands on the handle, and put her hands on top of them.
然后，她启动锄草机，把机器手枘塞我手里，把她的手压我手上。
Then, before I knew it, she was walking me all over the yard, making me push the mower.
还没等我反应过来，她就拽着我，我拖着锄草机，满院子走起来。
Man, did I ever feel like an idiot. Every once in a while, one of my friends would ride by on his bike and laugh. It was totally humiliating.
天呐。我就像个白痴被她拽着。不时的，就会有我的朋友骑车路过，为此哈哈大笑。简直丢脸丢到家了。
Anyway, that’s the kind of thing parents can make you do. But there’s no way they can make you answer if you don’t want to. No way in the world.
所以，这类事是父母可以强迫你做的。但是，如果你打定主意不出声，这事，他们无论如何是束手无措滴。绝对没辙。
Of course, I don’t want you to get the idea that I wasn’t going to speak at all. Oh no. I was planning to speak, all right. But only when I felt like it. And only when I had something really mean to say.
当然，我并不是打算一句话都不说。不是。我肯定会说话。只是，得等我想说的时候才说。等我自己真想说点啥的时候再说。
“Come on, Charlie, get up,” Mom said again. “I don’t want you to miss your bus.”
老妈又说：“查理，快点，起床。一会要赶不上班车了。”
Can you believe that? She actually thought that I was going to school as if nothing had even happened.
你想得出吗？她居然想让我去上学，好像什么事都没发生过。
Boy, was she in for a surprise.
好家伙，那她就想错了。
I heard her go into the kitchen to start breakfast. But a couple of minutes later, she was right back at my door. My mother is like a boomerang, sometimes.
我听见她走进厨房，开始做早餐。几分钟后，她又来到门外。我妈有时候，真像回力飞镖一样，来去自如。
“Charlie, your breakfast is ready. Let’s go,” she shouted.
她在外面喊：“查理，早餐准备好了。快去吃。”
She waited.
她还等外面。
“Charlie?” she called. “Charlie? ANSWER ME!”
接着，又喊：“查理？查理？答应我一声！”
Her voice was getting frantic. I think I know why, too. Since I hadn’t answered, she was probably afraid that the stress of the divorce had been too much for me. Like she was probably thinking that I had a heart attack from all the tension or something.
她的声音开始抓狂了，我当然知道是怎么回事。因为我没回答，她应该是害怕（他们）离婚这事让我受不了。她可能以为我因此突发心脏病之类的。
But not me. No way. In fact, just the thought of having a heart attack made me feel all spooky inside.
我才不会呢。实际上，光是想想要犯心脏病这样的事，就让我心里很恐怖了。
It also gave me a mean idea.
这倒启发我，让我想出个馊主意。
My mother got the key to my door and opened it as fast as she could. When she came into my room, I was lying there very, very still.
老妈急忙找着我卧室的钥匙，飞快地打开房门。她走进来一看，我躺在床上，一动不动.
She ran over and pulled the sheet off me. “Charlie?” she shouted, shaking me. “ Are you okay? Wake up! Wake up!”
她跑过来，掀开我的床单。摇着我，大声喊：“查理？你没事吧？醒醒，醒醒。”
I didn’t move a muscle.
我纹丝未动。
Mom hollered, “Oh my God!” and ran out of the room.
老妈焦急地喊着：“噢，上帝啊！”然后就跑出屋子。
As soon as she was gone, I sat up and smiled.
她前脚出去，我后脚就坐起来，得意地笑了。
A second later, she was back. Just like a boomerang.
也就过了一秒钟，她又跑回来。我就说她像个回力飞镖嘛。
When she saw me sitting up, she collapsed in relief. “Oh, thank goodness, Charles!” she said. “I thought something terrible had happened to you.”
她看见我起来了，一下子就放松了，说：“噢，感谢上帝！查理！我以为你出事了。”
She sat down on my bed and hugged me as tightly as she could. But my mother’s not dumb. And it didn’t take her long to realize that I had just played a very mean trick on her.
她坐在我床上，使劲地抱住我。但我妈老聪明了，马上就明白我刚才是跟她使诈呢。
That’s when she blew up.
然后，她就开始发飙了。
Parents do this sort of thing all the time. As soon as they’re sure you’re not hurt, they think they have to punish you.
家长们总干这事儿。如果你有点啥事，他们就一惊一乍心疼得不行。一旦确信你没事了，就开始琢磨怎么治你了。
“Charlie! How could you do a thing like that to me?” She said. “ How could you deliberately let me think that something bad had happened?”
她说：“查理，你怎么可以那么对我呢？你怎么能故意让我以为你出事了呢？”
I didn’t answer.
我又没吱声。
By then, Mom had had it. She stood up. “Okay, I’m going to say this one more time, Charles! Get ready for school this minute. And I mean N-O-W!”
这次，老妈明白了。她站起来，说：“好吧。我再说一遍，查理。马上准备上学。我是说，立即、马上！”
My mother is a very strange person. You’d think that when your kid is still wearing his pajamas ten minutes before the school bus comes, you would already understand that he wasn’t going to school that day. But not my mother. She still wasn’t getting the picture.
我老妈真是太强了。您咋不想想？校车十分钟后就到，而您儿子还身穿睡衣。就说明您儿子这天根本不想去上学。不过，说这些都没用，要能想到这些就不是我妈了。
“I’m not going,” I said at last.
最后，我说：“我不去。”
She frowned. “Excuse me?” she said. “What do you mean, you’re not going?”
她皱皱眉，问：“说什么？你不去是什么意思？”
I explained. “That means that I’m not getting on the bus. And I’ m not getting off the bus. And I’m not going to my classroom. And I’m not sitting down in my seat. And I’m not going out for recess. And I’m not going to the lunchroom——“
我说：“我的意思是，我不打算坐上校车，当然也不会下车。我不打算进教室，也不打算坐到座位上。不打算出去自由活动，也不打算去食堂吃午餐——“
Mom interrupted. “That’s enough, Charles. That’s really enough.”
老妈打断我说：“够了，查理。够了。”
She walked around the room a few seconds. Then finally she sat down on my bed again.
她在屋里来回走了几下，然后又坐到我床上。
Her voice was calmer now. “Look, honey,” she said. “I know that you had an awful shock last night. And I know that you must be very upset about it. But that doesn’t give you the right to go around acting horrible to everyone.”
她的声音开始平静下来，说：“听着，宝贝儿。我知道昨晚确实给你打击很大。妈妈也知道你很难过。但是，那不意味着你有权利去折磨别人。”
She continued. “Now, today, after school, your dad is going to pick you up and try to explain things to you better. There are a lot of things that he can tell you to help you understand what’s happening. And sooner or later, we’re all going to get through this. But it won’t make things any easier if we all go around acting terrible to each other. Do you understand what I’m saying?”
她接着说：“今天放学后，你爸来接你，会给你解释清楚些。他会告诉你很多事，来帮助你理解现在发生的事情。我们迟早会渡过这个难关的。只有我们好好地相互关心理解，才能更快地渡过去。你明白我说的意思吗？”
I nodded.
我点点头。
“Good,” she said. “ I knew I could count on you. Now hurry up and get dressed.”
她说：“好。我就知道我儿子很棒。现在赶快起来穿衣服。”
“Mom?” I asked as she started for the door. “Could I just finish explaining what I started before?”
当她开始向门外走的时候，我说：“妈妈，你能听我把刚才说的话说完吗？”
“Sure, honey,” she said. “Go ahead.”
她说：“宝贝儿，当然可以。说吧。”
“Well, I just wanted to say that after I don’t go to the lunchroom, I ‘m not going to music. Then I’m not going back to my classroom, And I’m not going to wait for Dad to come get me.”
“我就想说，我不想去饭厅吃午餐，也不想去上音乐课，下课后也不想回教室，最后也不想等爸爸来接我。”
Mom looked confused.” But you just said you were going.”
老妈有点迷糊了，说：“但是刚才你说要去上学的呀。”
“No, I didn’t,” I said. “I didn’t say that at all.”
我说：“没有。我根本没说。”
My mother blew up again.
结果老妈又开始发飙。
“Okay, Mr. Smart Aleck. Let me put it this way,” she said. “ You ARE getting dressed, and you ARE going to school! Do you hear me?”
她说：“好吧，自作聪明先生，我告诉你该干什么。你马上穿衣服，立即去学校。听见了吗？”
I crawled back under my sheet.
我又缩回到床单下面。
Mom stormed over to my bed. “You listen to me, young man. I expect you to mind! I AM STILL YOUR MOTHER!”
老妈怒冲冲地回到我床边，说：“小伙子，听好了，告诉你，我、现、在、还、是、你、妈！”
Angrily, I looked up at her.
我看着她，也怒气冲天。
“No, you’re not!” I shouted. “A mother is a person who loves her kids and who cares about their feelings. I don’t know what you are, but if you ask me, you’re sure no mother!”
我喊着：“不，你不是！妈妈应该爱孩子，关心他们的感受。我不知道你是什么，但肯定不是个妈妈。”
This time, my mother didn’t shout back. Instead, she ran to her bedroom and slammed the door.
这次，妈妈没有冲我喊，和我辩驳。她跑进自己屋里，把门摔上。
I think I had made her cry again.
我觉得自己又把她弄哭了。
I don’t care.
我才不在乎呢。
I don’t like people who ruin my life.
谁毁了我的生活，我就不让谁好过!
翻译:王悦
王悦
2012-09-26
天之聪教育
407次
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