连载(十)Don't make me smile

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连载(十)Don't make me smile

王悦 2012-11-07 天之聪教育 303次

喜欢Barbara Park的作品，不仅因为她作为成年人，能够以孩童的视角洞察被大人忽略的情感，还因为作品中充满童趣。当然，英文表达比较简单，也是重要原因之一。下面这段摘自她的“Don't make me smile"一书，是讲述一个十一的岁男孩父母离婚以后，心里成长过程。试着将其翻译过来，权当练手，希望没把韩老师教的忘光，也欢迎各位同学指正。

TWO WEEKS after I first met Dr. Girard, it was Easter. With all the problems that were going on in my family, I had almost forgotten about it.
从我第一次去吉拉德医生那，过了两周就到了复活节。家里发生这么多事，我差点把这茬给忘了。

To tell you the truth, Easter isn’t one of my favorite holidays anymore. It’s better than nothing, but that’s about it.
说实话，复活节已经不再是我日夜盼望的节日了。但是，不管咋说总比没有强，是吧？

A lot of holidays seem to lose their fun when you start getting older. Easter is one of them. For me, Easter was way better when I was little. I really loved the whole Easter Bunny thing back then.
随着年龄的增长，许多节日都失去了它的吸引力，复活节就是其中一个。我小的时候，可喜欢复活节呢。那时候，我真的超爱邦尼兔呀，彩蛋呀那些东西。

I guess there are lots of kids who never take the Easter Bunny seriously. I mean, when you think about it, trying to believe that there’s a giant rabbit hopping all over the world delivering eggs isn’t that easy. Actually, it would make more sense if there was an Easter Chicken. But when I was little, it didn’t matter. I was one of those kids who believed everything my parents told me. If they had told me that there was an Easter Lizard, I would have believed that, too.
我估计很多孩子从来不把复活节邦尼兔什么的当回事。我是说，你细想想，说有只大兔子在全世界到处蹦嗒着送鸡蛋，这事你信吗？倒不如说有只复活节母鸡来得令人信服。不过，我小的时候，根本没怀疑过这些。有那么一种孩子，父母说啥就信啥，我乃其中之一。如果小时候，爸妈告诉我过复活节的时候，总有只蜥蜴到处送鸡蛋，我都照信不误。

When I finally found out that the Easter Bunny wasn’t real, I really took it hard. And guess who told me? Good old MaryAnn Brady.
当我最终知道复活节邦尼兔根本不存在的时候，简直都崩溃了。你猜是谁告诉我这个噩耗的？当然是长舌女孩玛丽安。布莱迪。

She came to school right before Easter vacation and said her mother had told her the Easter Bunny was just make-believe. She said it was really your parents who did all the basket stuff. I bet mother also told her to keep that information a secret. But as you can see, even when she was little, MaryAnn was a giant blabbo.
复活节放假前，上学时她跟我说，她妈妈告诉她，复活节的邦兔都是人扮的。她说那些节日的东西，比如装鸡蛋的篮子什么的，都是你父母弄的，根本不是邦尼兔送来的。我敢打赌，她妈也一定告诉她，对这些事要保密。但是，你瞧，就算在小时候，玛丽安已经是个大喇叭传话筒了。

Anyhow, when I got home that day, I ran to my mother and asked if what MaryAnn had said was true.
不管咋说，当天我到家后，就跑去找我妈，问她玛丽安说的这些是不是真的。

“Is the Easter Bunny real, or is it just pretend?” I asked.
我问：“邦尼兔是真的还是人装的？”

Mom stopped what she was doing and looked at me.
老妈停下手头的活，看着我。

“Why?” she asked. “Did someone tell you it wasn’t real?”
“怎么了？”她问。“有人告诉你，邦尼兔是人扮的？”

I nodded. “MaryAnn Brady,” I said. “She said her mother told her that the Easter Bunny was really your parents.”
我点点头，说：“玛丽安。布莱迪说的。她说她妈妈告诉她，复活节邦尼兔都是你们大人装的。”

“So how do you feel about that?” My mother wanted to know. “Would you be upset if I told you that the Easter Bunny was Dad and me?”
“那你觉得呢？”老妈试探着问：“如果我告诉你邦尼兔是我和爸爸装的，你会失望难过吗？”

“No,” I said. “I wouldn’t care a bit.”
“不”，我说。“我才无所谓呢。”

Mom smiled. “Well then, I guess that means you’re old enough to understand,” she said. “MaryAnn was right. The Easter Bunny is really Dad and me.”
老妈笑了，“那好吧。我想你已经长大了，可以理解这些事了。”她说：“玛丽安说的对。邦尼兔其实是我和你爸扮的。”

My mouth fell open.
我张大了嘴。

“Oh no!” I yelled. “Oh no! Why did you have to tell me that? YOU JUST WRECKED MY WHOLE EASTER!”
“噢，不！”我大喊。“噢，不！你为什么要告诉我这个？你、毁、了、我、的、复、活、节！”

My mother was stunned. “But, Charlie,” she said, “You just told me that you wouldn’t care.”
老妈有点蒙了。“可是，查理”她说。“你不是刚刚说不在意的吗？”

“I lied!” I said. “I really did care. And now it’s all ruined! You spoiled my whole holiday!”
“我骗你呢”我说。“我很在意。现在都被你弄砸了！你毁了我心目中的复活节，和跟它有关的一切！”

I was a very weird kid. It took me a week before I finally settled down. And if you think that was bad, you should have seen me when I got the news about Santa.
我真是个很纠结的孩子。就这事，费了一个星期的时间，才让我平静下来。如果你觉得这样挺糟糕，那你就该看看，当我知道圣诞老人也是假的以后，做何反应。

Anyway, ever since then, Easter has lost most of its thrill for me. In my opinion, once you’ve looked in the basket and eaten the ears off the chocolate rabbit, the excitement is pretty much over.
不管咋说，自那以后，复活节对我来说，就不那么带劲了。要我说，一旦看到那个以为是邦尼兔送来的篮子，再咬掉里面装的巧克力做的兔耳朵，那股兴奋劲就算过去了。

My mother knows how I feel about Easter. But for some reason, this year she kept trying to make a big deal out of it. She kept saying stuff like, “Only six more days until Easter, Charlie.”
老妈知道我对复活节的态度。但不知为什么，今年她总是把它当成大事。总是不断地说些像“查理，再有六天就是复活节”之类的话。

“Am I getting a basket this year?” I asked her. “I might be getting a little old for that kind of stuff, you know.”
“今年我还会有复活节彩篮吗？”我问她。“那些小儿科的东西，现在应该不适合我了。”

Mom misunderstood completely. “Of course you’re getting a basket,” she said. “You’ll never be too old for an Easter basket, Charlie. Never.”
老妈显然是误会了。她说：“你当然可以得到彩篮，查理。在妈妈心里，你永远都是我的小儿子。永远。”

And that was that.
就那样吧。

On the day before Easter, my mother went to the grocery store. When she came home, it looked like she had bought about a million eggs and one of those egg-dyeing kits. I’m not a big fan of coloring eggs, by the way. But since Mom had already bought the stuff, I didn’t have a choice.
复活节前一天，老妈去了食品店。回来时，她貌似买了无数鸡蛋和一套染蛋用的家什。顺带说一句，我对染蛋这活儿并不那么狂热，但既然老妈已经买了这些东西，我也别无选择。

She boiled the eggs and called me when everything was ready. She really seemed excited about the whole operation. When I went into the kitchen, I saw that she had five cups lined up on the counter. In each cup, there was a different color dye. I decided to get right to it and get the whole thing over with.
老妈把鸡蛋煮熟，一切准备就绪后就把我叫去。看来她对这档子事还真来劲。我走进厨房的时候，看见操作台上摆着一溜五个蛋杯。每个杯子里，装着不同颜色的染料。我决定马上开始，速战速决。

After I had dyed one egg in each color, I started to leave.
我每种颜色各染了一个鸡蛋，然后就准备撤退。

“Is that it?” asked my mother. “Is that all you’re going to do?”
“这就完了吗？”老妈问：“你就想这么胡弄了吗？”

“I did one in every color,” I answered. “How many was I supposed to do?”
“我每种颜色都染了一个”我回答。“那我应该染多少个呀？”

My mother went to the refrigerator and pulled out two big bowls. “I boiled three dozen eggs, Charlie,” she said. “You’ve still got thirty-one more to go.”
老妈走到冰箱边，从里面拿出两只碗。“查理，我煮了三打三十六只”，她说。“你还得染三十一只。”

Thirty-one more? Oh no. I thought. Not thirty-one more! What in the world were we going to do with all those eggs? I hoped my mother didn’t think I was going to eat them all. I don’t even like hard-boiled eggs. The yellow part is all dry and pasty, and the white part doesn’t have any flavor at all.
再染三十一只？噢，不是吧。我想，才不呢！我们到底要这么多蛋干嘛用呀？但愿老妈可不是想要我把它们全吃掉吧。我可不喜欢吃煮鸡蛋。煮蛋的蛋黄又干又涩，蛋白一点味都没有。

“Why did you cook so many?” I asked.
“干嘛煮这么多呀？”我问。

She winked. “It’s a surprise,” she said. “You’ll find out tomorrow. Right now, just finish coloring them.”
老妈冲我挤挤眼，“保密”，她说。“你明天就知道了。现在赶紧去染蛋吧。”

It took me about an hour to finish dyeing all the eggs. I tried to jazz up a couple of them by putting on some stickers. Every egg-dyeing kit in the world comes with a bunch of dumb looking stickers. Usually, they’re pictures of baby chicks pushing little wheelbarrows. You’ve probably seen the kind I mean. They always look real cute on the front of the egg kit. But as soon as you put them on your own eggs, they bunch all up and look awful.
我用了将近一个小时才把蛋都染好。为了让蛋更生动活泼，我还把其中几个粘上贴画。每套染蛋器里都配着一堆傻乎乎的贴纸画。一般来说，都是些鸡宝宝推小车之类的，你肯定看到过我说的这种。在贴纸的正面看着都挺可爱的，但是你要把这些粘贴画撕下来，再贴到自己的蛋上，就费劲了。如果粘不好，画会聚成一堆，皱巴巴的很难看。

“Okay, I’m done,” I said finally. “Is Dad coming over tomorrow? Is that the surprise?”
“好了，我弄完了。”我松了口气，说。“明天我爸会来吗？他就是那个秘密惊喜吧？“

“No, your father’s not the surprise,” said Mom. “I’ve got something else planned.”
“不，不是你爸。”老妈说。“我做了别的打算。”

Then she smiled and winked again.
然后，她笑了，又冲我挤挤眼。

I hate it when my mother winks at me. It was okay when I was little. In those days, I used to try and wink back. But now that I’m older, I just find it embarrassing.
我很讨厌老妈冲我挤眼。小时候还好，那时我都会学着也冲她挤。但现在我长大了，觉得这样很丢脸。

When I woke up on Easter morning, I have to admit I was kind of excited. It wasn’t about the Easter basket, though. I just couldn’t wait to see what kind of surprise my mother had planned.
我得承认，复活节早上醒来后，还是很期待的。但不是因为彩篮什么的。我只是等不及想知道老妈策划的那个意外惊喜是啥样的。

I got out of bed and hurried to the kitchen. My Easter basket was stuffed full of chocolate rabbits and jelly beans. I thanked Mom for the candy, but just as I suspected, it seemed a little babyish.
我起床后赶紧跑到厨房。果不其然，我的复活节彩篮里，装满了巧克力兔子和软糖豆。我谢过老妈送的这些糖果。但正如我担心的，这些东西实在有幼稚的嫌疑。

I looked all around. “So where’s the big surprise?” I asked.
我四处张望了一下。问：“那个意外大惊喜在哪？”

“It’s coming later,” said my mother. Then, believe it or not, she winked at me again.
“待会才来呢。”老妈回答。然后，她竟然又冲我挤挤眼。

“Mom?” I said. “There’s something I really need to tell you. Dr.Girard said that if something bothers me, I should talk to you about it calmly and honestly.”
“妈。”我说。“我必须跟你说件事。吉拉德医生说过，如果有什么事让我烦心，我应该平心静气、如实地告诉你。”

My mother looked worried. She sat down in the chair next to me. I guess she thought it was something about the divorce.
老妈有点担心，她在我旁边的椅子上坐下来。我估计她以为我说的是跟离婚有关的事呢。

“What is it, Charlie?” she said. “Tell me what’s on your mind.”
“什么事，查理？”她说。“跟我说说，你有什么心事。”

“It’s just that I wish you would stop winking at me,” I said. “It makes me feel ridiculous.”
“我就是希望你别再冲我挤眼睛了”我说。“我觉得那样挺可笑的。”

Mom stood back up. She didn’t say anything, but she definitely looked annoyed.
老妈站起身来，什么都没说，不过，看起来挺郁闷。

“I didn’t mean to make you mad,” I said. “But at my age, being winked at makes me feel like a fool.”
“我不想惹你生气”我说。“但在我这个年龄，要是冲我挤眼睛的话，让我觉得傻乎乎的。”

“Good. Fine. I’ll never wink again,” she said.
“好。那好。我再不冲你挤眼睛了。”她说。

She left the room in a huff. I never realized that winking meant so much to her.
她气呼呼地走出厨房，我真没想到，她这么在意挤眼睛这事。

After that, the day passed pretty slowly. Time always passes slowly when you’re waiting for a surprise.
打那以后，时间过得超级慢。当你期盼意外惊喜的时候，时间总是过得很慢。

By about two o’clock, I started to wonder if maybe my mother had called off the surprise completely. Maybe she was even madder about the winking than I had thought.
到了下午两点左右，我开始怀疑老妈是不是把策划好的惊喜给取消了。或许我说不让她再冲我挤眼睛，令她龙颜大怒了。我可没想到会这么严重。

That’s when I heard the doorbell.
正在这时，我听到门铃响了。

“Yes! This must be it!” I said right out loud.
“哈哈，肯定是惊喜来了！”我立马大声说出来。

I ran to the front door and pulled it open.
我跑到前门，把门拉开。

There stood Hank.
门外站着汉克。

Hank is one of my mother’s cousins. She has three of them. Two of them are really cool. The other one is Hank.
老妈有三个表兄弟，其中两个都挺帅的，汉克是不咋地的那个。

We don’t see Hank very often. He lives about a hundred miles away. It’s what I like best about him.
汉克住在离这一百多里远的地方，并不经常来，眼不见心不烦，这点我很喜欢。

Hank is a total cornball. You can tell he doesn’t have any kids of his own. He’s always saying the kind of stuff kids hate. You know, like calling you “little man” and junk like that.
汉克绝对是个不着调的土老帽。他自己不要孩子，还总说些不招小孩待见的话。比如说，给你叫什么“小男人”之类的屁话。

When I saw him standing there, I was stunned for a second. I just stared.
见他站在门口，我的大脑完全短路了一会，只是盯着他看。

Hank pushed his way into the house. “Hiya there, Chas!” he said loudly.
他挤进屋子，大声说：“嗨，是你呀，查斯。”

As soon as he was inside, he picked me up and swung me around.
他一进屋，就抱起我，转起圈。

I hate being swung around. I hate it almost as much as I hate being called Chas.
我讨厌被人抱着转圈，也讨厌被叫做查斯。

After he put me down, Hank stuck out his hand for me to shake. “Put’er there, big guy,” he said.
把我放下后，汉克伸出手来和我握手。说：“握个手，大个子。”

I shook it.
我握了握。

“Oooeee!” he hollered. “That’s really some grip you’ve got there, tiger!”
“吼吼”他嚷嚷着。“握得真紧呀，大力士。”

“I’ll go get Mom,” I said. Then I turned and ran full speed ahead to my mother’s room. I hoped she wouldn’t be upset. She usually doesn’t like it when company drops by unexpectedly.
“我去叫我妈。”我说。然后转身快速向老妈房间跑去。希望她不要烦恼，当有不速之客突然造访时，她都不太高兴。

When I ran in, she had just finished fixing her hair.
我跑进老妈房间时，她刚刚整理完头发。

“Mom, you’re not going to believe this, but your crazy cousin Hank just showed up at our front door!” I said. “He’s out there in the hall waiting for you!”
“妈，你可能想不到，你那个不着调的表哥汉克刚刚到了！”我说。“他在厅里等你呢！”

My mother smiled. “I know, Charlie,” she said. “It’s perfectly okay.”
老妈笑了。“我知道，查理。”她说。“他来的正好。”

“Whew,” I said. “That’s a relief. I thought maybe he had just dropped by or something.”
“哟”我说。“那就好。我以为他是心血来潮顺道看看或者什么的。”

“No. I knew he was coming,” she said.
“不，我知道他要来。”老妈说。

“Well, you better get out there and say hello,” I told her. “I’m going to be in my room for a while. Call me when the surprise gets here, okay?”
“好吧。你快出去招呼他吧”我说。“我到自己房间待会，等下意外惊喜来了的时候叫我一声，好吗？”

Mom’s face went funny. “What did you say?” she asked.
老妈脸上露出哭笑不得的表情。她问：“你说什么呀？”

“I said, ‘Call me when the surprise gets here.’”
“我说，‘意外惊喜来了，就叫我一声’”。

Mom frowned. “Charlie,” she said. “My cousin Hank is the surprise. He drove down to spend Easter with us.”
老妈皱皱眉头，“查理”她说。“我的表哥汉克，就是那个惊喜。他开车过来陪我们一起过复活节。”

I was hoping I hadn’t heard her right.
我真希望自己听错了。

“Hank?” I asked. “Hank is the big surprise?”
“汉克？”我问。“他就是那个大惊喜？”

“Yes,” she said. “I called him to spend the holiday here.”
“是的”老妈说。“我给他打电话，约他来这过节。”

“But….but why?”
“可是。。。。可是为什么呀？”

“Because I thought it would be nice if we had someone over here to share our Easter dinner with,” she said.
她说：“因为我以为有人跟咱们一起过节吃饭会更好些。”

“But why?” I asked again.
“但是为什么？”我又问了一遍。

“Because I didn’t want you to feel lonely,” she said. “I thought we should have family around us.”
“因为我不想让你觉得家里太冷清”她说。“我觉得应该有家人陪咱们过节。”

“Oh,” I said.
“噢”我说。

I guess I should have tried to act happier, but oh and why seemed to be all I could come up with.
我想自己应该尽量表现得开心点，但我只说了“噢”和“为什么”，就再无其它。

Mother put her arm on my shoulder and we walked back to the hall. Hank was still there. He picked Mom up and swung her around. Then the three of us went into the living room and sat down.
老妈搂着我的肩膀，带我回到厅里。汉克还待在那呢。他抱起老妈，转圈圈。然后，我们三人进了客厅坐下来。

“Did you get the eggs ready?” Hank asked my mother.
“你准备好鸡蛋了吗？”汉史问我妈。

“Sure did,” She said. “Charlie dyed them all himself.”
“当然准备好了”她说。“查理染的，他自己全搞定了。”

She turned to me. “Hank had a great idea, Charles. We’re going to send you on an Easter-egg hunt. That’s what all the eggs were for.”
老妈转向我，说：“汉克想出个好点子，查理。我们要给你玩复活彩蛋寻宝。那些蛋就是干这个用的。”

“Oh,” I said again.
“噢”我又说了一次。

“You’re going to love this, big guy,” said Hank. “When I was a boy, my parents always hid eggs in the backyard. Then my brother and I would go out and try to find them. The best thing about it was that my dad gave us money for every egg we found.”
“你一定会爱上这个游戏的，大个子。”汉克说。“我小的时候，爸妈总是把彩蛋藏到后院，让我和我哥去找。最好玩的是，我们找到多少蛋，老爸就会付多少钱给我们。”

“Oh,” I said, for the third time.
“噢”我淡淡地说。这是第三次了。

“Doesn’t that sound like fun?” asked Mom.
“听起来很好玩吧？”老妈问。

Dumb. It sounded dumb. But I didn’t want to hurt my mother’s feelings.
无聊。太无聊了。但我不想煞风景，伤了老妈的热情。

“Fun,” I said. “Fun.”
“好玩。”我说。“好玩。”

Hank stood up and headed for the backyard. “You’ll only have five minutes to find them,” he said. “And here’s the best part. I’m going to give you a dime for every one you find.”
汉克站起来，向后院走去。“只给你五分钟找蛋。”他说。“最棒的地方是，你每找到一个，我就给你一角钱。”

Whoopee, I thought.
哇。我想

“You stay here now, Charlie,” said my mother. “Hank and I will go hide the eggs. And remember ….no peeking.”
“你待在这，查理。”老妈说。“我和汉克去院子里藏蛋。记住。。。。不许偷看。”

The two of them hurried outside. I waited alone in the living room.
他们俩匆忙出去了，我在客厅里等。

After a few minutes had passed, Hank called me from the back door. “OKAY, CHAS!” he shouted. “YOU CAN COME NOW! WE’RE READY!”
过了几分钟，汉克在后门叫我。“好了，查斯！”他大喊。“你可以来了！我们藏好了！”

Slowly, I got up and walked outside. Believe me, I was in no hurry. This was one of the dumbest things I’d ever had to do in my life.
我慢吞吞地站起来，慢吞吞地走出去。听我说，我真的一点都不急着。如果说我这辈子做过什么最无聊的事，这就是其中之一。

When I got outside, my mother and Hank were standing there grinning. It was obvious that they were having a lot better time than I was.
我走到后院，老妈和汉克正站在那裂着嘴笑。很显然，他们玩得比我嗨多了。

“Okay, Chas,” said Hank, “you’ve got five minutes.”
“好，查斯”汉克说。“你只有五分钟。”

My mother shoved an empty basket in my hand. “Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one. Go!” she shouted.
老妈把一个空篮子塞我手里，然后大喊：“十、九、八、七、六、五、四、三、二、一，走！”

I couldn’t stand how stupid she was acting.
我实在受不了，她这么做太傻了。

“God, Mother,” I said. “This isn’t a space launch.”
“老天。妈妈”我说。“这又不是发射卫星。”

My mother hates it when I say God. I almost always get a lecture if she hears me say it. But saying God is as close as I can come to really swearing without serious punishment, so sometimes I say it, anyway.
老妈听我说‘老天’就不爽。几乎她每次听到我说，都要训斥我一顿。但是，说‘老天’最能表达诅咒的语气，其后果又不会遭到什么严重惩罚，只是被训斥一下，所以我有时会说。

This time, she ignored it.
这次，老妈放了我一马。

“Just go!” she yelled. “You’re wasting time! Start looking!”
“快去吧！”她嚷嚷着。“你在浪费时间！开始找蛋呀！”

Hank looked at his watch. “Hurry up, Chas,” he said, “You’ve already wasted forty seconds.”
汉克看着表。“快点，查斯”他说。“你已经浪费了五十秒了。”

I walked out into the middle of the yard and looked around. I spotted three eggs in the bushes. They were lying out in plain sight. Hank must have thought I needed glasses or something.
我走到院子中间眼睛四处寻找。一眼就看见草丛里有三只蛋，这三只就摆在光天化日之下，汉克一定是当我近视眼还是怎么的。

I picked them up and put them in my basket. I looked around and saw a couple more around the tree. I walked over and picked them up. Two more were balanced in the branches. I grabbed them, too.
我把这三只捡起来，放进篮子里。再四处看，发现树周围还有好几只，我走过去捡起来。向上看，树枝间还放了两只，我也把这两只抓下来。

So far I had collected seven eggs. There were twenty-nine more to go. I made my way around the yard, picking up the eggs as I walked along. Not one of them was hard to find.
到目前为止，我已经捡到七只蛋了，还差二十九只。我沿着后院一边走一边捡，这些蛋都特好找。

Finally, Hank shouted for me to stop. “TIME’S UP!” he called. “BRING YOUR BASKET IN!”
最后，汉克冲我喊停。“时间到！”他喊。“把篮子拿进来。”

I wished he hadn’t shouted so loud. If any of my friends knew that I was hunting for eggs, I would have died. Slowly, I carried the basket over to the patio.
我真希望他别喊那么大声。如果朋友们知道我在找什么蛋，肯定要笑死了。我拿着篮子向露台走去，走得超慢。

Mom counted them. “Thirty-six!” she said. “You got all thirty-six, Charlie! That’s great!”
老妈数了数篮子里的蛋。“三十六个！”她说。“你把这三十六只都找到了，查理！真棒！”

“Shh. Not so loud,” I said.
“嘘。小声点。”我说。

Hank laughed. “Don’t be so modest, Chas! You should be proud of yourself!” he said.
汉克笑了。“别这么谦虚，查斯！你应该为自己骄傲！”他说。

“When my brother and I used to do this, we never found all of them.”
“以前我和我哥玩寻宝的时候，从来就没都找到过。”

“Maybe your parents didn’t put them out in plain sight,” I said. “I tripped over at least ten of them.”
“可能你爸妈没把鸡蛋放在一眼就能看到的地方”我说。“你们放的太明显了，至少有十只蛋都把我绊着了。”

Hank laughed again and reached into his pocket. “Let’s see now. How much does old cousin Hank owe you?”
汉克又笑了。他把手伸进口袋里。“让我看看。你老舅该给你多少钱？”

“Three-sixty,” I said. I probably shouldn’t have made him pay. But if you’re going to make a fool out of yourself, you ought to get a little something for your effort, I think.
“三块六”我说。其实不应该让他付钱。但我这么想，如果你做出牺牲扮演傻瓜，就应该为此得到些回报。

Hank handed me the money.
汉克把钱递给我。

“Thanks,” I said.
“谢谢。”我说

I turned to my mother. “Is this the end of the ‘fun’?” I said. “Would it be all right if I go watch TV?”
我转向老妈。“‘好玩的游戏’结束了吧？”我问。“我现在可以回去看电视了吗？”

“Sure, go ahead,” she said. “Dinner will be ready in a few minutes.”
“当然。回去吧。”她说。“大餐几分钟就好。”

I went inside and turned on the TV. Naturally, nothing good was on. No sports, no cartoons, no nothing. Television stations save their worst shows for Sunday afternoon. They probably figure that on Sunday afternoon people are so bored they’ll watch anything.
我走进屋子，打开电视。果不其然，啥好看的都没有。没有体育比赛，没有卡通片，啥都没有。电视台总是把最差的节目留到星期日下午，他们可能预料到周日下午大家都很无趣，无论啥节目都能看得下。

They’re right, too. I ended up watching this do-it-yourself show about how to repair water rings on your tabletops.
电视台算得真准。我调了一个遍，最后定在一个DIY节目，这个节目是教人们修理台面上的水圈的。

My mother and Hank stayed outside and talked for a few minutes. When Mom came in to fix dinner, Hank flopped down beside me on the couch.
老妈和汉克在院子里谈了几分钟。然后老妈进厨房准备开餐，汉克一屁股坐在我旁边的沙发上。

“What’cha watchin’, big guy?” he asked.
“你看什么呢，大个子？”他问。

I can’t decide which I hate worse, chas or big guy.
查斯和大个子这两个称呼我都讨厌，只是还不确定更烦哪个。

“Nothing much,” I answered. “Just some dumb show.”
“没看啥”我回答。“就是些无聊的节目。”

“You mind of old Cousin Hank watches it with you?” he asked again.
“你介意汉克老舅和你一起看吗？”他又问。

I said no. But it wasn’t easy. I minded a lot. The guy was seriously getting on my nerves. I thought if he called me Chas one more time, I would blow up.
我说不介意，其实很介意。这家伙真让我很不爽。我想如果他再叫我一声查斯，本人可就要怒了。

“What’s this show about, Chas?” he asked then.
“这个节目是干嘛的，查斯？”他又问。

Quickly, I sprung up from the couch. “Could you please stop calling me Chas?” I said. “I hate that name. How would you like me to call you Hanky? Huh? Would you like that, Cousin Hanky?”
我一下子从沙发上跳起来。“你能不能不给我叫查斯？”我说。“我讨厌你那么叫我。我要是给你叫Hanky（汉克舅舅以为叫Chas比Charlie更亲昵，所以这样叫。这里作者故意把Hank叫成Hanky，是以其人以道还至其人之身。让这个表舅体会私自瞎叫人家名字的感受。）你会怎样？嗯？你会喜欢吗，Hanky表舅？”

Hank’s face looked confused at first. Then just plain hurt.
汉克刚开始有些糊涂，然后脸上显出受伤的表情。

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I didn’t know.”
“对不起”他说。“我之前不知道。”

Right away, I felt terrible inside. I never should have shouted at him like that. Not ever.
听到他这么说，我一下子感觉心里很难受。我真不应该那样冲他喊，不应该。

My mother had heard me yell. She came in and grabbed me by the arm。
老妈也听见我喊了。她走进来抓住我胳臂。

“Could you please excuse me for a minute, Hank?” she asked. Then she quickly pulled me down the hall to my room.
“汉克，不好意思我们出去一下。”她说。然后，她飞快地把我拽进我的房间。

She slammed the door. “How could you, Charles?” she said. “How could you have said something so hateful?”
老妈把门摔上。“你怎么可以这样，查理？”她说。“你怎么可以说这么伤人的话？”

I didn’t know myself, so I couldn’t answer.
我自己也不知道为什么，所以干脆没吱声。

“What kind of kid are you, anyway?” she asked. “My cousin drove over a hundred miles to brighten up your Easter, and you stand there and scream at him like that? How could you?”
“你到底是个什么样的孩子呀？”她问。“我表哥开车开了一百多里到这，就是为了让你复活节过得开心。可你站那冲他那么大喊大叫，你怎么可以那样做呢？”

I shook my head.
我摇摇头。

“I don’t know how I could, Mother,” I said. “I’m sorry. It’s just that I didn’t really expect that Hank would be the big surprise today. I thought it would be something better.”
“我不知道自己是怎么了，妈妈。”我说。“对不起。我只是不想今天的意外惊喜是汉克。我以为应该有比他更好的人。”

“Oh, well, that’s just wonderful,” said Mom. “Now what am I supposed to do? Tell him he wasn’t a good enough surprise and send him home? Or first, maybe you’d like to yell at him some more.”
“噢，那真好，真是太好了。”老妈说。“现在我该怎么办？我去告诉他，做为意外惊喜他不够份量，现在请他回去？还是，你再冲他嚷嚷一顿？”

“I’m sorry,” I said again.
“对不起”我又说了一遍。

She opened my door and pointed. “Well, don’t tell me. I’m not the one who drove one hundred miles to spend Easter with you. If you’re really sorry, you go tell Hank. You fix this, Charlie. I mean it.”
老妈打开门，指着客厅。“好。别跟我说。不是我开了一百多里地跑来陪你过复活节。如果你真觉得抱歉，去跟汉克说。你自己解决这事，我说真的呢。”

My mother is very big on having me apologize to people. But this time, I knew she was right.
老妈在强迫我道歉方面超级强大。但这次，我知道自己错了。

I walked back into the living room. Hank was sitting there pretending to watch the furniture show.
我回到客厅，汉克正在沙发上假装看家具秀。

“Hank, I’m sorry, okay?” I said. “I’m really, really sorry for yelling at you like that. I didn’t mean to make you feel bad. Honest. It’s just that I’ve been having some personal problems lately. And I’m not really acting that good.”
“汉克，对不起，真的。”我说。“我真的真的不应该那么冲你喊，我不是成心让你难受。其实，只是因为最近我自己心情不好。但我真不应该那样对你，我做得太过分了。”

Hank smiled. “Don’t worry about it,” he said. “We all have to blow off steam once in a while. Everybody says things they don’t mean.”
汉克笑了笑。“没事，别担心”他说。“我们都有情绪低落的时候，也都有过有口无心地说话的时候，发发脾气没关系的。”

I tried to smile back. “It’s okay to call me Chas if you want,” I said.
我挤出一个笑容。“如果你喜欢，叫我查斯也行。”我说

Hank reached over and ruffled my hair. “That’s okay, big guy,” he said.
汉克伸手胡虏胡虏我的头发。“好的，大个子。”他说。

A couple of minutes later, my mother called us to dinner. While we were eating, no one said very much. I forced myself to smile more than usual. So did my mother and Hank. It takes a while for people to start acting normal after there’s been a big argument like that.
过了几分钟，老妈叫我们吃饭。吃的时候，我们的话都很少。我让自己不时地笑笑，老妈和汉克也是如此。人们在发生这样的冲突后，多少都有点不自然，要费点时间才能恢复正常。

After dinner, Hank stuck around for a couple of hours. He still acted corny, but for some reason I didn’t mind it as much. I guess just because someone is a big cornball, it’s no reason not to like him.
吃完饭，汉克又待了几个钟头。他还是挺老土，但不知道怎么的，我竟然不那么在意了。我想即使某人土里土气，但这个理由不足以掩盖其它的优点。

I just hope that my mother doesn’t think she needs to call Hank every time there’s a holiday, though. If I thought his Easter-egg hunt was dumb, I’d hate to see what Hank would come up with for Halloween.
尽管如此，我也不想老妈打算每过一个节日都叫汉克来。虽然我觉得汉克这个复活节彩蛋寻宝主意无聊透顶，但我更害怕他在万圣节会想出更囧的馊主意来。

Thinking about this worried me a little. I wanted to mention it to my mother, but I didn’t want her to get mad at me all over again.
想到这个，我真有点担心。我想提醒老妈一下，但又怕再激怒她。

Suddenly, I thought about Dr. Girard. I wondered what he might tell me to do ?
突然，我想到了吉拉德医生。真想知道他会教我怎么做。

There was only one way to find out.
看来只有孤注一掷了。

I went to the phone and dialed his number.
我走到电话机旁，拨了他的号码。

The voice on the other end was a recording. It said: “Dr. Girard is not in the office right now. At the sound of the tone, please leave your name and telephone number, and Dr. Girard will return your call…..beep!”
电话那头是答录机的声音。里面说：“吉拉德医生现在不在办公室。听到提示后，请留下您的姓名和电话，吉拉德医生会给您回电话。。。。。哔！”

“This is Charles Hickle, Dr. Girard,” I said nervously. “My number is 555-6788. Please call me back. Thanks.”
“我是查理Hickle，吉拉德医生”我紧张地说。“我的电话号码是555-6788.请给我回电话，谢谢。”

After I hung up, I already felt better. Just the idea that there was someone I could talk to helped me more than I thought.
挂断电话后，我已经感觉好多了。单单知道能有人听我说说心理话就起了作用，这可真出乎我的意料。